Patience, Constancy and Understanding

Again from the letter of the Regnum Christi General Director..

The subtitle for this part was "Suffer patiently our neighbor's shortcomings." -- Doesn't sound all too appealing for a mass non practicing Catholic market-- like most of my friends who could possibly be reading this blog haha :)) Funny story-- Yesterday as we were hanging out in Margie's room I remember a tag to a Yoga activity in The Farm that will be facilitated by Cara Ocampo-- Here's how that conversation goes:

Ina: "Kace, you want to go to a Yoga RETREAT?"
Kace : Face blank with a tinge of disgust
Ina: "No, no, not a retreat-- A Yoga WEEKEND. Its at The Farm in Batangas, someone put it on facebook. They have healthy food and yoga sessions. It'll be nice, I think it's around 4k....."
Pam: "Alam mo naman the word RETREAT scares ate!"

Hence, Patience, Constancy and Understanding might be a friendlier title :)

The line in the passage that I really liked goes --"If God has placed him there beside me, if God has allowed him to work and live near me, then he will give me the graces I need to accept and love him as he is."


I know how difficult this may be especially for people like me who expect so many things out of life. My mom always tells me that I have all these images in my mind, so many clouds in my head. I guess this comes from all the dreaming I do. I have all these ideal notions in my head and I try to reach them as much as possible. A good thing or a bad thing? I'm not quite sure yet. I guess the good thing about it is I reach for my dreams, I have the initiative to make it happen. Its the only way to change-- and I like that, I like moving forward, I like knowing the things I want and making them happen. Now the part where I want too many things-- too many ideas that its so scattered and whether its really what I truly want or is it what I think would impress or please others is a different discussion in itself.
The downside, sometimes I can be too overbearing. Especially to those closest to me. I'm so focused on my ideals that I want everyone around me, everyone concerned to follow suit. Arrogance on my part, that my ideal is ideal for everyone. I forget sometimes that other people are not as quirky as I am. They've gone through different circumstances in their lives and as a result picked up different lessons in their journey from what I have. Let me think of an example--- Let's say a boyfriend hits his girlfriend. Immediately we think "He's an asshole" I would think that he has no respect for women and he is an evil person and every bad word you can pick out of the dictionary. Thats because if I were him, and I did that to someone, those are the emotions that would be running in my head. But you are not that person. What if that person grew up in a household where his Dad would hit his mom constantly, maybe for him hitting someone meant teaching them discipline and in effect displaying their love. A thought I cannot comprehend because those were not the circumstances I experienced. I am in no way condoning this kind of behavior.. I apologize for the bad example but it was the only one I could think about.

A little bit of understanding goes a long way. I know sometimes I forget to take the time to understand.. especially when I am so engrossed with my own worries, my own insecurities. That's why I'm finding that all this time I'm spending at home and focusing on my self and at work-- really taking a lot of junk out of my life-- has helped me focus more. Regain my composure. Virtues are like muscles, they need exercise.

Vieux Chalet

Had such a wonderful day with the girls today.

Was lucky to get a decent amount of sleep last night. After a 5 and a half hour meeting friday, I was zombie-fied. I could seriously no longer function. I really felt bad that I couldn't make it to Daryll's graduation celebration ( Four years of law school - proud of you Daryll! Hopefully we'll get to see you more often from now on. ) but I really couldn't anymore. I was out the moment i plopped into bed-- I wasn't even able to change or even turn the air conditioning on. I woke up at midnight all sweaty eeew. At least I slept till -- 6 am! Haha :)) I've been waking up at 245 every night lately head bursting with ideas. I'll probably get another hour of sleep before I get to work but still not enough. But I'm happy to have so many things to do :)

This morning I was able to do so much before getting ready for lunch. Was able to do my morning prayers,  get 2 blogs down and talk to my sister. I took my time getting ready-- since saturday is the only day I go out now-a-days hehehe ;))

Waited for Kace, Pam and Anna and Eli at Caltex along Sumulong Highway. Vieux Chalet is in Antipolo-- no idea where-- just following the leader. Thanks Kace for making this happen. Haven't had such a wonderful day in quite a while. We got there at around 1:30. It was nice to see the girls during the day. Usually it's only Kace I see in daylight. "Marge, your hair looks darker!" "It's because its daytime."

I was thrilled to find "Mango Shrimp Cocktail" on the menu. Lettuce, tomato, mango and shrimp-- all in my list of things to eat :) I was so disappointed when the waiter said it wasn't available-- but after a bit of sweet talk and nagging, he went to the kitchen and VIOLA! They can make it! Yay :) I was kinda disappointed that the 4 pieces of shrimp were so small, surely not 100 grams as stipulated in my diet but it was good none-the-less. The atmosphere and the company drowned out the taste factor for me. You could have fed me whale testicles and I would have still been in high spirits. It was so nice to just hear what everyone had ben up to-- laughing, giggling. Actually just being around them was such a treat in itself. The food was great too. And the dessert. Yes, we must have dessert because it was a special occasion :)

We were there till 4 in the afternoon after which we headed to Margie's house. The other girls had places to go, it was just me, pam and kace with Marge. I really missed being in Margie's house. We used to sleep there so often. It's been way too long. We should really have more days like this. I am so grateful for such great friends. 

I love you guys. 

Learning the Art of Negotiation

Last week, I attended my second seminar at CCE for my electives; "The Art of Negotiation." If you know me, you probably know how badly I am in need of Negotiation skills. My voice probably sounds like a squeak. I speak slowly and softer the more I get intimidated. Very disadvantageous in Negotiation situations.
I've tried to informally negotiate with my American Suppliers--- asking them for some discounts, promotions, concessions-- what have you.. Some they let me have but most of the time I don't really get exactly what I ask for. Maybe there's something wrong with my notion of what I deserve. You see, I don't like to haggle. I don't like asking for things. I assume that a price quoted must be a fair price. And a raise in price has reasons behind it. Meeting with Tita Edith and Tito Os a month back about my business-- me explaining to them how my COGS had increased by a huge percentage because of price increases and dollar fluctuations-- Tita Edith goes "You have to Negotiate, tell them that you cannot do business with these margins--- But you cannot do it yourself--- Kung magsalita ka parang baby! Maybe you can take Tito Os with you when you meet with him so that he can demand for you."
This is true, I know. Sometimes it gets to me-- My being too soft perhaps too trusting. I have been duped a few times. Sometimes I feel people try to manipulate and take advantage of me. It hurts, and i think-- I like the way I am I want to believe in people I don't want to be cut-throat and deceitful just to get my way around. Maybe business isn't for me-- I'd much rather be dealing with people that are honest caring and compassionate--kids, I thought. But then it dawned on me-- Its not that you're going to be evil and deceitful -- I just can't be naive, this is the real world Ina. You have to grow up.

The seminar taught me a lot. Negotiation is about preparation. I have to know what I am worth, what is a fair price for my business--- that way we can come to a compromise. A win-win situation with the other party. My idea before was Bargaining and not Negotiating. This way you come in confident knowing the situation and with the end goal of both parties happy. Really a seminar worth attending for the likes of me.

What I liked most about the seminar were the other participants. It was a full class. I was like a kid in a candy store watching everyone in class. For people like me who don't have "officemates"-- seeing how other people think and do their work and me getting to play a part in it is such a treat. Definitely a confidence booster that I can hold my own amongst them-- amongst people that actually work in REAL companies heheh :)) There were people from Aboitiz, Shell, Belle ( Tagaytay Highlands ) They were so open, and really talented people and I enjoyed so much being part of that group and just hearing their ideas, I really admire Ms. Cristina of Belle. She is very stylish, and carries herself so well. I also admired Warren of Aboitiz and Paul-- I'm not quite sure if he was from Belle. I loved the group.
I could perhaps be a seminar junkie because i'm kulang sa officemate hehe :)) Lynn shares this sentiment too!

The Amazing Group!

"Looking After our Neighbor is the Best Way to Look After Ourselves"

I tricked Lynn to finally have coffee with me last Thursday under the guise of " meeting with my team leader." Really, I just miss Lynn and the other Regnum Christi girls because I have been so focused on work and resting that I haven't had much time to see them-- and it was her birthday a week ago.

Coffee turned out to be long overdue. I really enjoyed coffee Lynn. I was so glad to share so many things with her and feel such comfort, acceptance and somehow a kindred spirit. "You, me and Pat O. are so alike." I truly agree. I want to also get to know Pat better. So Pat Ocampo, If you're reading this-- We should have coffee soon :) And our date to watch Being Erica :)

Lynn gave me a copy of a letter from the Regnum Christi director that I was reading for morning prayers today..

"Looking after our neighbor is the best way to look after ourselves; in fact, thinking of our neighbor is the best way to think about ourselves." - Pope Benedict XVI

When we are so caught up in our own troubles, we drown. Once we see what misfortunes other have, it sheds light on how blessed we truly are. I may not have enough money to buy all the clothes, and take all the vacations that I want-- but I see kids on the street without anything to eat. Hopefully we realize that those clothes those vacations aren't essentials and aren't things to be down about. Of what is truly important, I have-- more than enough of.

The challenge perhaps is for this idea to translate into action. I have more that enough, What should I do about it?

It kind of sounds selfish to ask for something worse off than you just to make yourself feel better--- But maybe the magic, the lesson is in carrying that other persons cross and realizing it isn't so bad after all.


Lord,
When I am hungry, send me someone in need of food;
When I am thirsty, send me someone in need of water;
When I am cold send me someone in need of heat;
When  I grieve, send me someone in need of consoling;
When my cross seems heavy, let me share my neighbor's
When I find I am poor, place someone in need at my side
When I don't have time, send me someone who needs my minutes
When I suffer humiliation, give me the chance to praise someone
When I am discouraged, give me someone to cheer up
When I want to be understood, send me someone that needs my understanding
When I feel in need of care, send me someone to care for
When I think of myself, turn my thoughts into another
Lord, make us worthy to serve our brothers and sisters. Through our hands give them their daily bread, but also our merciful love as a reflection of yours.

Thank you Lynn for this :)

Psalm 91

 Security under God's Protection

You who dwell in the shelter of the Most High

   who abide in the shadow of the all mighty

Say to the Lord, "My refuge and fortress,

   my God in whom I trust."

God will rescue you from he fowler's snare

   from the destroying plague

Will shelter you with pinions

   spread wings that you may take refuge

   God's faithfulness is a protecting shield

You shall not fear the terror of the night 

   nor the arrow that flies by day

Nor the pestilence that roams the darkness

   not the plague that ravages at noon

Though a thousand fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand

near you it shall not come.

You need simply watch,

   the punishment of the wicked will see

You have the Lord for your refuge:

   you have made the Most High your stronghold

No evil shall befall you

   no affliction come near your tent

For God commands the angels

  to guard you in all your ways

With their hands they shall support you

   lest you strike your foot against a stone

You shall tread upon the asp and the viper,

   trample the lion and the dragon.

Whoever clings to me I will deliver

   whoever knows my name I will set on high

All who call upon me I will answer

   I will be with them in distress

   I will deliver them and give them honor.

With length of days I will satisfy them my saving power.

I knew this was made into a song. The lines "My refuge my God in whom I trust" sounded so strangely familiar. Searched it and it's on "Eagle's Wings." I love that song, still dreaming of being in a church choir someday :)

I miss you Pa..

This morning, my door suddenly opened at 4 am. I remember that one night, Pa was knocking at my door past midnight... "Ina, I got Krispy Kreme :)" I knew it was him this morning making sure I was awake for Mass on his 2nd year anniversary. I wouldn't forget. He will never be forgotten.

Jn 3:11

".. we speak of what we know and we testify to what we have seen.."

After the darkest of night comes the break of dawn. After the worst phase of my life, the best has come. Truly God's handiwork and I'm certain that I have yet to be amazed.